Showing posts from 2009


My laptop broke so I've been trawling through old e-mails trying to find pictures of work that still exists. Here is an existing image of  'KEEP AWAY FROM IDIOTS' Unusually the sculpture still exists too. This one sadly doesn't.... One Step Ahead It was amazing in real life- Inside the head bustling with butterflies and popery.All found objects. Mostly. Everything fitted so bloody perfectly-It was perfect. One day I arrived at college to find it broken. No note, no apology, no answer. In a desperate bid for the truth, I threatened everyone I saw.... but no one had answers, no one had seen or heard anything. I was supposed to learn a lesson from this: Be more careful and do things properly. Naughty Baby Long Fingers  Baby's walking round on their elongated fingers acept they didn't actually move....but if they did...

Tits on a Horse

Tits on a Horse Sorry, I just thought that was funny because it's an antler, and antlers are from deers not horses. This photo was taken by Luke Burke, thanks Luke. I've decided to try and make an exhibition of all this work sometime in January. It seems silly not to. I can try and make it fun and not uncomfortable or embarrassing. Candle light seems like the best idea. Like this but better. I'll even move stuff around and try my hand at curation. I went to the village pub and guess what they had hanging round the back for me?Only about 20 pheasants- 20 whole pheasants with wings and heads and everything else pretty much apart from the meat! But I'm a vegetarian anyway so that doesn't matter. I watched a taxidermy video on youtube.

Today I pickled my first rat

We had what some would call an infestation.  One dark and cold night I awoke to feel the pitter-patter of tiny feet across my pillow. That’s right- my own pillow. I made a move and I felt the bastard run down my leg...................... Jesus, that was it. I had had enough sleepiness nights worrying about when I would get herpes from land sharks.  But no more. I brought about a ton or Rodin and set piles of it about the place then went to sleep. I awoke early and tentatively peered into the bowls, they were empty! So I sat back and gloated at their misfortune, but my  gloat was short lived.  The bubble burst upon hearing that rats have an illness homing device and go to their nests to die- Shit. That means in a month or a week or whenever we're going to have to deal with the smell of rotting diseased bastards ruining are nasal passages with the memory of their vile existence. Erugh.  3 days later I awoke to another beautiful day in paradise. I opened my door and ther

Look What The Stork Brung!

Today I had a brain spasm. I've been busy. Recently I've been really busy. Mostly being busy means moving things round my studio but today I was moving them more productively than usual. 'Look What the Stork Brung’ is stuff I have been working on separately, little individual pieces that were independent to each other- that I joined up. That day my mind was working and things fitted into place so perfectly. I got such a massive rush! It was so weird. 5 bloody years of keeping and collecting and in 5 minutes I had pieced all the links together to make it work like a well-oiled visual machine!  I was buzzing! I was buzzing internally so hard you wouldn't believe! That ultimate moment of creation and compleation and release was like drinking coffee reeeeealy quickly that was super strong with loads of sugar to boot.  Having all that going on inside and being in the space and the moment of silence and stillness- it was beautiful. Oh god I wish you

Art Apparently

Th is bat hroom suit was 2 weeks worth of personally dripped wax. 2005 final piece at Bournemouth Arts Institute. After the show I left the toilet in a bush and set the sink up in the girls loos.    Confessional: I wipped this up in 2006 quickly before a critt whilst doing my degree. A strange thing happened., I took a step back and wittness that I had indeed put a cumming bird box on top of a fabric penis,  A stroke of luck in my direction.  Eye Bowl ' Bloody love this guy. He looks like himself. These are c alled Pubes. You may have some yourself. These are min e   'A Whole New World' Close up of my finger with a spot I picked and squeezed. Blood and some clear stuff came out but I don't know what it is.   'Mind Like a Magpie' I brought loads of bits of magpies off the internet, wings, feet- The usual. I got thinking about their heads. No one was selling magpie heads... but they must exist if I could buy everything

Some people call them Artists, I like to call them Wankers' A tour

This is where all the action happens, where I get my secrets out.  No one comes here. It is my own fantasy world where I can do what I want. Finally, after all these years in art school no one can tell me what to do. Here we have a selection of deep and meaningful works/stuff, displayed on a cabinet I stole from university. The end of year show pack down was the perfect excuse to loot the place with the help of an innocent passer by. Included on the cabinet is 'The Eyeful Tower', a models foot, a selection of orange glass I decided I would collect, a light of the world and a butterfly clock which I can't decide is sick or funny. Probably mostly both. There is also a charming metal horse ornament my mother dug from the ground when she was going through her speed phase. She would spent hours on end digging things up in the woods, sometimes this would prove profitable, bringing home bags of gold, other times she woul