Some people call them Artists, I like to call them Wankers' A tour

This is where all the action happens, where I get my secrets out.
 No one comes here. It is my own fantasy world where I can do what I want. Finally, after all these years in art school no one can tell me what to do.

Here we have a selection of deep and meaningful works/stuff, displayed on a cabinet I stole from university. The end of year show pack down was the perfect excuse to loot the place with the help of an innocent passer by.
Included on the cabinet is 'The Eyeful Tower', a models foot, a selection of orange glass I decided I would collect, a light of the world and a butterfly clock which I can't decide is sick or funny. Probably mostly both. There is also a charming metal horse ornament
my mother dug from the ground when she was going through her speed phase. She would spent hours on end digging things up in the woods, sometimes this would prove profitable, bringing home bags of gold, other times she would come home with dildos which she stuck in hilarious places in the garden.

'Some people call them Artists, I like to call them Wankers'
This looks just like the guy who said those immortal words, complete with thinning grey mohekian. He didn't actually have birds for eyes but he was definitely a cock, a banker and called me/artists 'wankers'. I agreed in my head.  Later that morning I was sick. I chose to be sick underneath this piece to prove how pretentious I am.
Right underneath the wanker, not even on purpose.

I have a special place for fish and birds, both have a magical quality different to land creatures because they live and achieve things we can only dream of, like coming out of eggs. Eggs are amazing, so is being able to fly and breathing under water.

DJ Foxy Roxy

He's a work in process, lots of my work it constantly changing, pieces fit somewhere else suddenly, others make more or less sense as time goes by.

 'The Last Supper' is a pretty simple collage of celebs and randoms hanging out with Jesus eating beans. I think it's funny. It is.


To me everything about it is perfect.
1: It's in a box; things in boxes are cool.
2: It's a bird with no head; birds are amazing.
Other stuff like the colours match, the shirt in the background has England on it and is surrounded by the sky which could also double up as the sea. Yeah, I'm that deep.

I'm deeper than that. This piece to me reads like poetry, The colours, the concept. Headless and in the clouds, putting on a shirt and blending in.

'Keep Away From Idiots'

Jack' BirthdayJacks Birthday was a picture I found on Bricklane and made better. I needed something as a gift for my dear friend's birthday.  This was over a year ago. I never got round to finishing it. 

'Here Come The Birds"

Here is a poem I wrote because I had nothing to say about them. Poems are more than words. Poems are are like monotone songs. With great chorus and rhyme beating in time 

Little Birdy on a perch
Why do you make my stomach lurch?
You make no sound, your eyes are hollow
And still I find it hard to swallow

I want to keep you is that strange?
And pet you gently in a cage
Your mortality is linked to time
When I see your death
I feel mine

Because you remind me of the real
And you teach me how to feel.

We entered a scary abandoned flat next to our squat through the ceiling. I had seen there were dead birds inside through a window- there was loads of weird stuff but the birds were what I was after most.  I came away with 3 of the finest pigeon I ever did see. Perfectly mummified angles from the dark side.
Love from
Charlie Gates


  1. I am sooooooo lucky to live with you!!!! xxxxxxxx

  2. I like here come the Birds...


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