Charlie Tuesday Gates

Most of you know that I like to write about my holidays... and a fair few of you have reaped the rewards in the form of personal postcards-So my trip to   Portugal was no different.   Portugal was boring.  I was sold beaches to rival Croatia and the most stunning scenery- But we were basically in the part of Portugal purposely built for the totally tantastic- Endless vacuumed packed resorts and holiday homes with less charm than my most unimpressed face.  We’d hired a car but being driving licence free, I had to rely on the instinct of my friend...Who only wanted to go to the beach.   Every day. He was like some kind of relentless beach Natzi.  I’ve never been stared at so much on a holiday in my life. Apart from in India but that was different. I was wearing a headpiece on the beach, and giant army boots...and sometimes a shawl over my face for protection, but other days even when I was being totally normal, the stares were completely over the top and overly unjustified

I've been banned from Facebook again.  Whoops. My mum says I need to stop. It’s like, my 5 th   time now. They keep telling me that if I do anything wrong again that’s it. Wiped off the face of the face…book. I’m a repeat offender you see. Keep publishing indecent material apparently. God knows what I was dreaming about but I woke up and the first thing I did was this. It's a collage not a metaphor. Currently living in an ex mental day care centre and I found a curious collection of informational photographs, crying out for a collage or two.  These pictures of plugs were my favourite. Plug Me In, Turn Me On BANNED After creating another masterpiece, the first person I had to tell was Facebook. It turns out that Facebook can’t handle a few pieces of paper stuck together, crafted simply with an eye for detail and glue. Facebook can handle the hideous sites devoted to woman’s breasts and arses and all manor of other shameful public shows and grotesque acts of the mor