The Art world Genuinely Needs Me.

After months and months of retirement, I've decided that the art world genuinely needs me. So I've started making progress with new work. Lets hope I don't get evicted before I've created millions of masterpieces.
The council made a super surprise visit to the house today. I was happy I'd moved the rotting fox from the driveway but bricking it that they would wander into the garden and discover the open graves. There's a nice corner not that tucked away which I've been stock piling materials. . .
Unless the council are blind and stupid, the definitely saw everything. 


They definitely saw all the weird sculptures hanging around and they definitely saw what's lurking in the basement. As soon as I heard they were heading into the garden I mentally shat myself and pegged it.

I've been evicted before and I wasn't ready to face the potentially impending fury. This eviction story is a story I haven't told many people apart from live... and when I see their faces contort and distort I am reminded that I am indeed very very weird. But please remember I am very nice deep down.

Anyway: Once upon a time I was living in a care home in Wimbledon. There were hundreds of unused rooms so I decided to take advantage of one of them by scattering a few dead bits and pieces about the place. Bits and pieces like a pigs head, a deers caracas on the bed and another head by the window. I turned the heating up and closed the door, letting nature take its course in a very unnatural situation. Needless to say it was like a scene from one of those horror movies that get banned. . .And it stunk. Luckily it was miles away from where anyone actually lived so no ones lives were in danger.
One day someone came to inspect the property. The woman opened the door, screamed and pretty much had a nervous breakdown. Luckily I wasn't there but my friend was, valiantly guarding the room saying that no one could touch it because it was priceless art! Environmental health were called and even they wouldn't touch the stuff. Long story short I got evicted and then so did all my friends. One for not paying rent..and the other they found living in a toilet. Good story.
----------
Sooo after running away from the council and impending doom I found myself inside the most amazing pub in Forest Gate. Gotta see to believe kinda place. Like a terrible version of someone's living room.


The juke box was playing the Bee Gee's 'Tragedy' they sold sprits by the old school measures and Peter invited me to his house to watch the football. And it kept getting better and better in there! 'Moon Light Shadow' played three times in a row and everyone was smoking. 
The icing on the cake would have been a fight..

So after an hour drinking I got a text saying it was safe to come home. I came home and got back to business, upgrading myself and life's' work from the sodden basement to the super damp spare room. No one uses it anyway.



Really really pleased and happy about my decision to come back to life after all this time away. But why the sudden change of heart? 

Well, after a recent discussion with a real artist, they asked what I was. Obviously I am an artist. Just got disheartened/ distracted and jumped ship into fashion(my other great love Mind Like Magpie) More good questions followed: Why I stopped, what I needed to come back and how I was going to get back in there. We worked backwards to go forwards and here I am again, creating my own future out of others recent pasts. 
BACK IN THE GAME


Love from
Charlie Gates
x
http://www.facebook.com/tuesdaygates
https://twitter.com/GoodnessGates

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Plug Me In, Turn Me On

Image
I've been banned from Facebook again.  Whoops. My mum says I need to stop. It’s like, my 5 th   time now. They keep telling me that if I do anything wrong again that’s it. Wiped off the face of the face…book. I’m a repeat offender you see. Keep publishing indecent material apparently. God knows what I was dreaming about but I woke up and the first thing I did was this. It's a collage not a metaphor. Currently living in an ex mental day care centre and I found a curious collection of informational photographs, crying out for a collage or two.  These pictures of plugs were my favourite. Plug Me In, Turn Me On BANNED After creating another masterpiece, the first person I had to tell was Facebook. It turns out that Facebook can’t handle a few pieces of paper stuck together, crafted simply with an eye for detail and glue. Facebook can handle the hideous sites devoted to woman’s breasts and arses and all manor of other shameful public shows and grotesque acts of the mor
Read more

Debut Contemporary: CON ARTIST: Crimes Against Artists Humanity

Image
Subtle There's  a man called Samir Ceric in a Gallery called Debut  Contemporary  on Westborne Grove that has bullied, manipulated and lied to thousands of young, naive and inexperienced artists. Playing on the fact they are desperate to make it in the art world.  Here’s some advice for free:  YOU CAN’T BUY YOUR WAY IN There is no short cut to fame and glory. You get it by hard work and hard work only and if you are willing to work hard YOU WILL SUCCEED. You don’t need to pay over 400 pounds a month (for min 3 months contract) for a mentoring scheme from a man with no background in art whatsoever… Astoundingly Samir Ceric had just been voted (AND WON) the Hospital Club’s 100 most influential people in the Art and Design category. "I CHOKED ON MY LOAD" Now let me give you some background on the winner: A serial and self-styled entrepreneur, with numerous failed/bankrupt business and absolutely no art qualifications at all. I was amazed
Read more

Like A Lamb to the Slaughter. Easter special.

Image
Like a Lamb to the Slaughter I had arranged for some people to come round. They just wanted to see what I got up to on my day off, take some picture ect.  I was planning on using a hare (it being Easter and all) but the only thing that was budging was a lamb.  I was planning on crucifying it before I knew about Gunther Von Hagens and his idea of taking a dead body to the Pope.  These baby lambs died of natural causes soon after birth.  Sinking feeling I decided not to wash the blood out. It's the harsh, stark  reminder of the brutality.  I then turned the spot light on and...
Read more