In the Red: Amsterdam: Banned postal Art.


* These postcards have got me banned from Facebook AGAIN! Woooooo!!!!

 I’ve heard and read great things about Amsterdam. But I wasn’t there for me.  It was my brothers special treat so I shut my mouth and we spent the weekend in the Red Light District.
Dive right on in!
It’s exactly as you would expect, except the prostitutes are much better looking than I expected. Some looked like nu age Euro ravers with their day glow bra and illuminating pants. You had a good range too. In the morning time they would display older ladies, the ones that don’t work late, some of the younger early morning workers definitely hadn’t slept. Jaws a akimbo, eyes a blaze, jigging about like yesterdays sexy jelly.




I started to get a bit surreal with this postcard. Which led to a photoshop session later.  


Others looked terribly terribly sad. So sad. trapped in their glass cages, perched on a bar stool watching the world go by through long painless windows. While people stop and stare and laugh and pass judgment on whether you’re going to be a good fuck or not.
 Blurrrrgghhh.

But for some young men it’s a right of passage. A life goal! Go to Amsterdam! Bang a prostitute! Wow!


I didn’t see any sex shows. I didn’t want to. I don’t watch porn. Never have and it has never interested me...except one my mum had called 'Up The Mountain' (proper old skool 70's shiz, vintage classic.) And obviously Jonny Condom- the only sex ed video in school...which I stole. I feel bad about that, knowing that a younger generation's right of passage had been swiped by me age 14. Anyway:

  Other things interest me. Like sex museums. I prefer looking at old time tools than new age ones. It all looks so fake and un-enjoyably. The older stuff looks actually real, like with real people from real life. Not hyped up versions of reality that just, isn’t. Sexy. 

It was bizarre walking into a cafĂ© and there being a menu of every different type of smokable plant imaginable. This isn’t something that really interests me either and there were endless shops devoted to sexual and sinsemilla or paraphernalia. There’s not many woman around in the cafes and bars(minus the lesbo ones) Which was fine. But I felt weird about all the guys there. Coming to get fucked in one way or another.

The only touristy things I did happened on mushrooms. The nice buildings with tiny bricks, a blur whilst trying to escape from the pedalo of doom, through the land of bikes that appeared as a vortex, climbing endless stairs through space and time to get to the safe room we had rented.
This was my postcard inspired by trippy trippy shit. 


Food, boobs, cafes. It is VERY expensive there. Like going out in Leister Square. It’s rammed at the weekends. The Ko Sang Road Amsterdam. Can’t move for bloody tourists. It does look pretty and it is very easy there and it did have some good tools for postcards. Here's the stuff that got me banned from FACEBOOK (again)

Amy Childs is WILD!!!

This is very deep. Mother earth and feminism stuff. 



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