Jordan's Pussy

Dried out pussy at the Modern Panic exhibtion. The gallery man sent a text which read "The piece formally known as Jordan's Pussy is leaking- It's a little disturbing...what should I do?"
Here's the picture that inspired my mind- Uncanny isn't it.
I'm going to tell a story about how it came about but it's not going to be very nice so if you like cats you probably won't like this.....
One evening in May my mother and I were driving home. Suddenly I started to scream. To my amazement, surprise and despair, there by the side of the road appeared to be the most magnificent feline I had ever seen! Recently hit, the only obviously mark was to the head and a slightly bloodied tong, rigamortis was just setting in and his eyes hadn't gone cloudy yet. He was huge! Someone had obviously loved him very much.
But what is the right thing to do................................?
 I decided to write a note and say I buried it then quickly bundled the cat into the back of the car and we sped away. I had been dreaming of this moment for so long. I couldn't believe my enormous luck. God really was shining on me today.

Within an hour we were home and I ran inside screaming with excitement, dead cat swinging in my arms. Little did I know my brother’s new girlfriend had chosen today to meet the family.….
 I said my most normal and polite ‘hello’, then left the poor girl traumatized in the lounge. I took my new pet to the shed at the bottom of the garden and it was here alone in the silence that I was able to fully take in the magnitude of this situation. Excitement was replaced by grief and sorrow. I felt intensely for the life that was lost but also found beauty in such stillness. Intimate moments like this don’t come around often and it is impossible not to get emotional.
Pets have a magical quality because they make you feel things about them. They are close to your heart, they are your friends. You love them.

This creature had for some reason been taken away from this love and in a bizarre twist of fate, passed on to me ...  I had a responsibility- I was not going to waste this life. I would make it live forever!
The next day I skinned him and spontaneously shoved my hand inside its head, turning him into some sort of living/dead puppet. We stared at each other for a while and then began to sing! It was just bizarre watching it’s face move and contort with every over enthusiastic note. This moment of insanity was recorded but can never be shown. It can never be seen because the cat lovers of the world will crucify me. It is very much hardcore. Maybe in a few years the world will be ready for Meow but 100% not now.
After the puppet incident I turned my attention to the carcass. I put the body into the most cat like pose I could imagine. It began to look uncannily like something I had seen before- that wonderful catalogue shoot Katie Price aka Jordan did on a beach once.
Beautiful 
I am a massive Katie Price fan. I was supposed to audition for her special programe 'Discovered By Katie' But I missed my appointment.



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